WEEK 4 OF APLL FUNDAMENTALS - OK, NOW I KNOW I'M A TAD BEHIND...

Got back from my training in Kempenfelt, a beautiful setting, met some great people, had a blast and got back to collide with reality. I know there's that great adage: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." and someone at the training mentioned something about failing to distinguish between what's important and what's urgent (must get more on what that means...) 

Tried valiantly to hold the faith but let's just say the end of the digestive process repeatedly kept hitting the ventilation system. Or, in leadership parlance, challenging growth opportunity. Timely, yes, but did it have to happen all at once? Sheesh!

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to assess myself using the handy-dandy tool. I also took the opportunity during a staff training day in November to have the staff assess me. Yes, I hear you: "Are you nuts?" 

But:
(a) I don't have a very large staff: you could put us in the meeting room in Kempenfelt, swing a long tailed cat (ok, stuffed toy cat for you cat lovers) and still not hit anyone: 5 branches and I have 10 staff members, only 2 who are full time. And this to serve a population of 23,000+. Sucks, but that is my reality. Challenge, ha! I speet at eet!
(b) We've been through a hell of a lot since I've arrived two years ago. I trust them. They have proven to be intelligent, resilient, open and caring.
(c) If I can't trust them with being honest about this exercise - I did explain why I was asking this - how can they trust me when I evaluate them? Just because I'm the Director? Check with Louis XVI and Nicholas II about that approach.

What came out was enlightening, frustrating, upsetting, rewarding, and, ok, there's that word again, challenging. Some things I thought I did well were average to them and some things I thought I did not as well as I would like, they felt I was doing a good job. Oh, there were a number of things we agreed upon when I put my assessment besides theirs. But some surprised me, some pleased me, some winded me. And you know, I enjoyed it.

I get so wrapped up in all the politics and the place is in such rough shape that stopping and having a look at myself and asking am I truly leading or am I only reacting is timely? This last one concept is critical to me as I feel I have a talent to assess situations and generate approaches and solutions. And it's shaking me that I am so focused on fixing what I see as wrong based on what I've learned as a librarian over the years that I am not being a good leader for this community. 

The gift I recently received was meeting so many people from different systems over a couple of days. Yes, many much better off yet dealing with critical issues, others closer to my situation and also facing challenges that I recognize as close to home. All God's chillin' got troubles what is so wrong with putting the brakes on and looking at what I've got to work with rather than what it should be.

My Leadership Strengths
- I inspire and motivate.
- I help people see how and where they fit in.
- I speak well and can sell my vision
- I assess, analyze, troubleshoot, resolve, find a way through a problem.
- I research, gather information, ask for help, seek counsel
- I support and encourage others to grow.
- I open to new ideas.
- I am forward thinking
- I involve people into the process.
- I am service oriented and challenge the status quo when I feel it should be changed.

Strengths Needing Development
- I am so overtaken with the day to day since arriving that I've not forged enough community involvement: I need to get out and meet other community leaders.
- I inherited a sour relationship with City Hall and it hasn't improved. Much of it has to do with education, i.e., that we are not a city department nor just a book depository but a partner in the well-being of this community. This will be a difficult growth.
- I lose myself in the perceived needs of the Library. I am too obsessed with getting to where this place should be. This is a such a great community and I value my staff so that it galls me that this Library is in such a state. But piling on hours and hours of overtime has taken its toll. I can't help anyone from the sidelines.

When I imagine myself as a confident, capable, effective leader, I see a Library valued by the community (and therefore by City Hall), an enabler to linking community needs with services, the go-to place, a partner in growth rather than perceived as a one-use tool.